dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
