just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
