This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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