The maid of honor just puked.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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