im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
