Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Holy shit dude........stairs
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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