toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
