Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
