I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My ATM looks so different sober.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
