Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
