and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize