I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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