I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
