Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
