whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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