smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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