Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
