He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.