C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
