I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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