So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
