dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
