Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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