I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
