he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
