I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
