So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
