You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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