that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
