The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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