if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Dick very happy bro
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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