3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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