even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
