There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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