I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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