Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
