dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
