high people should be assigned attendants
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
