we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
babies were throwing up all over the place
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
