in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
