I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
