In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
