i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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