It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
