Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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