He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My pussy is not your playground.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
