I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
