Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so let's talk penis.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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