I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize