Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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