I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
