Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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