I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
