He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize