Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
