hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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