I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Randomize
