I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Say something about gay babies.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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