The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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