Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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