I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
