Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
