pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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