Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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